Porn & addiction...sex out of contextOn a cold, dark night, there's nothing better than a blazing
fire in the fireplace. You can pile on the wood and let it burn nice and warm. It's safe, warm, relaxing and romantic. Now
take that same fire out of the fireplace (which was built for it) and drop it in the middle of the living room. Suddenly it
becomes destructive. It can burn down the whole house and kill everyone inside. Sex is like that fire. As long as it's expressed
in the protective commitment of a marriage relationship, its wonderful, warm and romantic. But porn takes sex outside that
Porn - A Big BusinessIt's a big business that makes a lot of money and doesn't care how. They'll show
you whatever they think will make you come back and buy more. "There were 11,000 porn video titles last year verses 400 movie
releases from Hollywood last year...[and] 70,000 pornographic web sites." (New York Times, May 20, 2001, "Naked Capitalists")
Porn's Image of SexOne of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are
sexually. If these ideas are polluted, a critical part of who we are becomes twisted. The porn culture tells you that sex,
love and intimacy are all the same thing. In porn, people have sex with total strangers -- people they just met. All that
matters is my satisfaction. It doesn't matter whose body I'm using, as long as I get it. Porn gets you to think that sex is
something you can have anytime, anywhere, with anyone, with no consequences.
What Sex is Really AboutPorn's outlook is stupid and shallow. Relationships are not built on sex, but
on commitment, caring and mutual trust. In that context, like fire in the fireplace, sex is wonderful. Being with someone
who loves and accepts you, someone who is committed to you for your whole lives together, someone you can give yourself completely
to, that is what makes sex really great.
Effects of Pornography: The Lies of PornYou can't learn the truth about sex from pornography. It doesn't
deal in truth. Pornography is not made to educate, but to sell. So, pornography will tell whatever lies attract and hold the
audience. Porn thrives on lies -- lies about sex, women, marriage and a lot of other things. Let's look at some of those lies
and see just how badly they can mess up your life and attitudes.
Lie #1 - Women are less than human
The women in Playboy magazine are called "bunnies," making
them cute little animals or "playmates," making them a toy. Penthouse magazine calls them "pets." Porn often refers
to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. Some pornography shows only the body or the genitals and doesn't show the
face at all. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.
Lie #2 - Women are a "sport"
Some sports magazines have a "swimsuit" issue. This suggests that
women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game, you have to "win," "conquer," or "score." Men who
buy into this view like to talk about "scoring" with women. They start judging their manhood by how many "conquests" they
can make. Each woman I "score" with is another trophy on my shelf, another "notch" in my belt to validate my masculinity.
Lie #3 - Women are property
We've all seen the pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped
over it. The unspoken message, "Buy one, and you get them both." Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women
like merchandise in a catalog, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many
young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us
that women can be bought.
Lie #4 - A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body
Less attractive women are ridiculed
in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the "perfect"
woman. Porn doesn't care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.
Lie #5 - Women like rape
"When she says no, she means yes" is a typical porn scenario. Women are
shown being raped, fighting and kicking at first, and then starting to like it. Porn teaches men to enjoying hurting and abusing
women for entertainment.
Lie #6 - Women should be degraded
Porn is often full of hate speech against women. Women are shown
being tortured and humiliated in hundreds of sick ways and begging for more. Does this kind of treatment show any respect
for women? Any love? Or is it hatred and contempt that porn is promoting toward women?
Lie #7 - Little kids should have sex
One of the biggest sellers in pornography is imitation "child"
porn. The women are "made-up" to look like little girls by wearing pony tails, little girl shoes, holding a teddy bear. The
message of the pictures and cartoons is that adults having sex with kids is normal. This sets the porn user up to see children
in a sexual way.
Lie #8 - Illegal sex is fun
Porn often has illegal or dangerous elements thrown in to make sex
more "interesting." It suggests that you can't enjoy sex if it isn't weird, illegal or dangerous.
Lie #9 - Prostitution is glamorous
Porn paints an exciting picture of prostitution. In reality,
many of the women portrayed in pornographic material are runaway girls trapped in a life of slavery. Many having been sexually
abused. Some of them are infected with incurable sexually transmitted diseases that are highly contagious and often die very
young. Many take drugs just to cope.
Effects of Pornography: Bottom LinePornography makes a profit from the ruined lives of young women and
entraps men who will spend lots of time AND money succumbing to their product.
Effects of Pornography: The Power of ImagesIt's dumb to think that the things we see and hear don't
affect us. We all admit that good music, good movies and good books add a lot to our lives. They can relax us, educate us,
move us or inspire us. Obviously, good images do good things to us. It's not hard to believe that bad images can do bad things
Images can also persuade us. Businesses know that if they can get a persuasive image of their product in front
of you during a highly emotional moment, it will sink into your subconscious mind. The advertising scientists are so good
at what they do, they can predict just how much more of their product you will buy if you see their ad. Sometimes, viewers
don't even see the name of the product. Reeses Pieces paid a huge price just to have their candy shown for a few seconds in
the movie "ET," and sales of Reeses Pieces skyrocketed. Why? Because the emotions connected with watching that small boy reaching
out to the alien were transferred to the visual image of the candy. If a split second view of a product -- even when it's
not the center of attention -- can affect people's behavior, imagine the effect of a movie that keeps your attention glued
to the screen for an hour and a half with sexually explicit images.
What are the effects of pornography on a man?What kinds of ideas is porn putting into our heads? If
the wrong things keep getting dumped in, your mental environment can get so polluted that your life is going to have problems.
One of the most vital parts of mental environment is a healthy idea of who we are sexually. If these ideas are polluted, a
critical part of who we are becomes twisted.
Porn Addiction: The Pull of PornNot everyone who sees porn will become addicted. Some will just come
away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage, and children. However, some will have some kind of emotional opening that
allows the addiction to really grab hold. The porn companies don't mind at all if you become completely addicted to their
product. It's great for business. Dr. Victor Cline has divided the progress of addiction into several stages; addiction, escalation,
desensitization, and acting out. For porn addicts, I've found that there is another stage that comes first -- early exposure.
Let's look at these stages:
Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see porn when they
are very young and it gets its foot in the door.
You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked
and can't quit.
You start to look for more graphic pornography. You start using porn that disgusted you
earlier. Now, it excites you.
You start to become numb to the images you see. Even the most graphic porn doesn't
excite you any more. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again, but you can't find it.
ACTING OUT SEXUALLY
This is the point where men make a crucial jump and start acting out the images
they have seen. Some move from the paper and plastic images of porn into the real world, with real people, in destructive
by Gene McConnell
Prayer of Forgiveness
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